Beyond tired of this!

     I am blogging now because I need to vent. And I'm kinda open to suggestions, kinda not. I have just had the 6-millionth bedtime battle with my 3 year old and just like the title states, I am BEYOND tired of this malarkey (btw, thanks for the terminology Mr. VP)!!!
     I was skimming through a few forums on bedtime battles and most of the comments and advice given just angered me. Thus, my trolling session was pretty short. I am weary of suggestions like: "Go to bed with your child", "Make sure there is a bedtime routine", and "Conduct a super-deep analysis into the psyche of your child to figure out what issues he or she may be dealing with that are only exacerbated during the night time hours..." Please!!!!! Give me a break!!!!
     I am sorry but this child of mine will be 4 years old in less than a month. I have two other children beside her. I am home with them all day, spending heavy quality time. When I say bedtime, I mean bedtime! Don't get me wrong, there is some legitimacy to what's listed above. I slept with the child for the first two years of her life, we have a bedtime routine, and as far asthe super deep analysis of her issues goes..... The only issue that has merit in my book right now is the fact that she is being disobedient. And it needs to be addressed.
     Believe it or not, I actually need time after the day is done to decompress. To have some quiet time to myself. To spend time with my husband if he is actually home. To run to the grocery store for the next morning's breakfast. Is that asking too much??? I don't think so!
    I feel as though I have addressed every possible scenario and am at my wits end. I am not going to the bookstore to buy some sleep book. There is a very simple solution. Go.To.Bed. Or else!

I don't know or else what since my or elses haven't worked thus far...but I mean it, or else! Sigh...

Finding the upside

     Well, family... It's been a couple of days since I posted here and just thought that I would come and pay my respects.  Hope that you all had a swell day 'cause I surely did...not.

I was awakened by a gentle south wind, the warm sun gently kissing my eyelids, and the sound of birds chirping my name.  UMMMM!!! NO!!! It was actually the sound of my husband getting ready for work. Which, I guess is a good thing. The Bible says if a man doesn't work, he ought not to eat (2 Thess 3:10). And since I am no longer employed, the sound of somebody going to work ought to be pleasantries in my ears, right? Yeahhh, about that..

I'll make sure to keep repeating that to myself...

In the mornings, I am forced to "listen" to the sounds of:

1. the rapid fire sound of machine gun pee pellets hitting the toilet water
2. the shower head screaming as hot water finally makes it way to the master bath, and
3. my husband's body release the night's pent up farts and  raucous pig-face snorting that I'm sure a surgical procedure is needed to correct.

Great start. Well, at least I am alive to see another day.

Jesus, coffee, kids and cake. The name of my blog. Pretty much sums up my life, I suppose. Oh wait, the above mentioned that I am married. Where's that in the blog title? That's the cake. Duh! Because being married to a man completely my opposite is SO easy! It's a cake-walk!

NOT!!!

The cake in my blog title is actually...cake, folks. I am a sucker for sweets. Hence, my ever expanding waist line...

Well, back to my un-swell day.... Homeschooling the children today was like trying to catch a greasy pig or asking the Texas sun to leave the sky or trying to sell used matches or...you get the picture, right? It just took them sooooo long to do everything. I had planned on a short day but they made sure to foil my plans. Lots of resistance, lots of protests, and lots of breaks... They were definitely trying my patience. And my 3 year old has been the brattiest little booger for the last couple of weeks!!

Aaargh! What have I done to deserve this treatment?
Is this you Lord, lol? Are you trying to get my attention?
Are you showing me myself again? I surely hope not!

I've got to get a game plan together to deal with these children of mine. I love them to death
but they need some twirking. There are a few bugs and kinks to work out before I can confidently present them to anybody. I offered my youngest to my sister today. She refused. :/

Maybe next week, we will spend our time discussing and working on behavior. I've never put any stock in this but maybe there are some things in their diets that need to be taken out? They definitely need more physical exercise. So, time to re-invent this at-home learning thing again.

Soon, I will find what works "perfectly" (knock on wood) for our family.

On the upside, I am still ecstatic about the opportunity to homeschool. I love opening their little brains and pouring in Jesus, who has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness (2 Pe 1:3)

Upside #2, when my husband and his bodily sounds returned home, I was able to steal away a few moments to ride my bike around the subdivision and walk the darn dog :P

Upside #3, tomorrow is the women's fellowship. Brunch at the Grand Lux Cafe. Looking forward to some "me" time!

Jesus , coffee, kids and cake

    So... I'm on my way to bed but thought that I would share this. I don't think the Lord will mind. It is helpful to me and maybe it will be  helpful to one of you <3 <3 <3
     I woke up this morning in a rush. I had to get the children out of bed, washed, clothed and fed in an hour's time. I had a dentist appointment 45 minutes away and had to drop them off at my mom's on the way. Not to say that anything is wrong with it, but getting up early this morning reminded me of going to work :/ and I pretty much LOVE being able to sleep in every morning. The whole getting the kids up and ready within an hour's time brought back memories of the Monday- Friday grind of getting them to their teachers by 8 a.m. Don't miss that one bit! And they had to admit that they didn't either! :)
     But to move my story along, I picked the children up from my mom's a couple hours later and proceeded to the African American History Museum. We were supposed to go yesterday but I did not have possession of my car keys and thus, we stayed home all day. Flop.
     Once I got downtown, I found that we were right in the middle of lots of people and lots of traffic. I realized that I'd chosen a bad day for a historical field trip. Why, you ask? The State Fair was going on..... BOOOOOO!!!!!
     I paid $15 to park (normally it is free) and that strengthened my resolved to press on with my visit to the museum. Hey! I'm a stay home mom! Free parking and free museum admission resonates deeply with me! LOL.
     My children had not yet caught on to what was occurring around us. My oldest began to say, "Mom, we haven't done anything fun in a long time." What did I end up doing? You guessed it! Taking the children to the State Fair. I didn't want to, nor had I planned to. It just sorta happened. I found myself at the admission gates paying 52$ (:O)for the 4 of us. I regretted every single bill that I handed the clerk. Inside, I paid an additional 60$ for them to ride a handful of here-one-day-gone-the-next carnival rides.
     The State Fair is held in the museum district of the city so we actually did make it to the museum. We were there for a short time before making the long stroll back to the car. On the way back to the car, my oldest says, "We didn't get any prizes. I wasn't able to play any games!" And boy oh boy! My blood began to boil!!! All I can think about at the time is how a free trip ended up costing me over 100$ !!! She has the nerve to express such ungratefulness! I quickly turned around and told her how disappointed I was in the fact that she is never satisfied and always finds something to complain about. I spent money that I very well should have been paying bills with and this child of mine has the audacity.....
     I spent the next several hours pondering this situation. That is how much it bothered me--like down to my core. And this thought popped into my head, "You prayed for the Lord to open your eyes and show you yourself." BACK THE TRUCK UP!! "Lord, this is your way of showing me me?" I couldn't quite settle on whether it was Him or me, but decided that either way it goes, I will address it with my children and definitely address it within myself. If I felt that strongly about what my child was exhibiting, how much more the only true and living God whose name IS love and provision! Okay, Lord, I see it now....
    Last thing and I'll let you go. I was doing some reading before bed (and obviously before blogging). My pastor has an email list and sends out a brief devotional every day. This particular one indirectly addressed the power, or lack thereof, of Satan. He explained in this devotional that Satan uses the footholds or opportunities that we give him against us. He uses what we say, what we do and what we think to gain entrance into our lives to deceive and manipulate us into shifting our focus away from God and His Word. That immediately brought to mind the fact that I'd told my children, in anger and in hurt, that, 'I was done with them and that they weren't ever to ask me for another thing'.
     I began to think of how later in the evening, my child apologized for being "ungrateful." I'd muttered a thank you and kept going about my way. Was I holding a grudge??!! Really? Against my child? EPIC FAIL!!!!!
     I thought about the mercy and grace that God had extended, and does extend to me and felt shamefaced. Why was I the one being childish? I realized that it was because I am struggling with getting used to living on one income. I was taking the opportunity to deflect onto someone else. Poor kid. Was my child wrong? Absolutely, I believe that she was. However, it is my job to turn that into a living, teachable moment.
   After they had gone to bed, I realized that I needed to forgive her and move on-- quickly. Move on to showing her the example of Christ. Forgiveness and restoration. How dare I allow my feelings to create room for the enemy in my life and the lives of my children! How can one resent a child? I have been arrested by the expectations of God and am repentant and remorseful. This thing is a non-issue RIGHT NOW. There is forgiveness, not resentment. There is a mature example and a life lesson, not a set-up for my child to have some sort of issue or complex later.
   I forgive and am forgiven. And tomorrow, when she wakes, I will give her a big hug and a kiss and let her know that this incident has been "forgotten." Like it never happened. I will apologize, tell her that I was wrong and ask her to forgive me also.

Thank you Jesus for the lesson.

I'm back!

  Okay friends... I haven't been a part of the blogosphere for a little while now. Nothing like life to pop up and interrupt things right? I get migraines (lucky me). And last week I found myself in the urgent care and in the ER because of the headaches. Definitely not fun. It's not like I didn't receive "prudent and efficient" care, (wink, wink Tina, RN :)) but being a patient is just not enjoyable. I'd much rather be the nurse :) (Those of you who have my earlier posts know that I am a nurse by trade).
After being out of commission for a few days, it took me a while to get back to normal. The prescribed medications helped my symptoms but had me feeling some kind of way. :/ When I finally felt that I was myself again, there was a household just waiting for somebody to take control of it. And, of course, that someone would be me. I could only muster up the strength to homeschool my children 1 day that week. They'd been staying with my mom and sister and so counted the break in the lesson as a little vacation. These children of mine.... Don't they know the value of a good education? Kidding, kidding...
  Between this post and the last, I have had lots of thoughts that I wished I'd had the time to commit to my blog space. Unfortunately, it just wasn't there. But alas, I have returned to Jesus, coffee, kids and cake! And I'm glad about it! I need this blog and this anonymity. I write to sort out my thoughts so this helps me tremendously. And once it truly takes on a defined form, maybe it will helps someone else as well... We'll see... 
Right now, I will just be satisfied with a place to share my feelings and thoughts concerning those things that are common to wives and mothers. <3
  Speaking of the common threads between us all, how many of you find yourselves burning the candle at both ends? I sure have been guilty of that lately. Take tonight for example. It's 4 am and here I am...blogging. I think I just heard someone yell, "GET TO BED!!" Or maybe that was the voice inside my head? Anywho, I have been awake for almost 24 hours now and surely I will pay for this tomorrow. However, I find that I can work most efficiently after my children have been put down for a midsummers night dream. Technically, it's fall though, right? Ok, let me think (I'm warning you, maybe not so well at this hour)... After my children have FALLen to sleep. Ha! That was a funny play on words, eh? Eh? Eh? I know, I know. It was lame and pointless.... But back to my original point--I can actually get things done when they are quietly tucked away in their beds. Imagine that! 
  But seriously, I have cleaned the entire house, done several week's worth of laundry, opened a foot-high stack of mail, and  made preparation to pay bills with my hubby tomorrow. I have really accomplished A LOT! And this is really a big deal because let me tell you something else about me... I am a HUGE procrastinator! I always say that I'm gonna stop procrastinating tomorrow. And of course, tomorrow never comes. Seriously though, that's one of the areas of my life that I need to tighten up. That and being more disciplined and more organized. Let me know if anyone knows of any good support
groups in the area! Like the kind that meet in an elementary school cafeteria on weeknights... Kidding, Kidding.
On a serious note, I have just met my 1 month stay at home mommy status anniversary! *bows sweetly* And no, seriously, what do I find myself doing? Behaving just like the children of Israel! Wondering if I have made the right choice, wondering if I am in God's timing? Odd, huh? The very thing that I used to complain (tsk, tsk. I know.) about, am I know seeking to find that stress and take refuge in it? As stated before, I believe it to primarily be the man's responsibility to provide for the family. I don't necessarily believe that women should not work outside the home. This is just what it has come to in my situation. I needed reciprocity. I needed and expected more help than I was receiving. It is a difficult thing to be a Godly wife, to love and nurture your children, to keep house, etc. AND work outside the home--all at the same time. I had pretty much had it up to here *points to eyebrows with all four fingers* with the responsibility of it all and just decided that I was done with my assistance in the "wage earner" column.
  However, yesterday, I was in need of some support. I went through a photo list in my head. MOM, SISTER, GOOD FRIEND, FORMER CO-WORKER, COUSIN, CHURCH FRIENDS. I eliminated each one for no certain reason or another... I felt the need to pray. Pray to the God of this universe, the master planner of this community in which we live and die. To pray to Jesus with my understanding and in the Spirit. There HAD to be something that needed to be spoken into existence. I was feeling purposeless. Egads! How can that be, right? My hands are literally filled with the privilege and opportunity to be the first responder in the lives of three beautiful children! There are souls are on the line! They are to be taught and urged to become soldiers in the Lord's army!
  And if I know all of that, then what, pretell is my problem???? Well, I think the problem is a lack of perspetive. It's easy to get caught up in the everyday mundane tasks of life. I have been walking around like a cute little robot and  just going through the motions. Finding myself bored...and questioning the reasons for which I decided to be a stay home mom. Why have I become unfocused? Possibly it is remembering what it was like to get a direct deposit ? Or maybe it is the new caution with which I spend? *Sigh...*
So, until I hear from the Lord, I will be quieting myself more and praying more. I am going to read my Bible more with the hope of finding solace, comfort, encouragement and confirmation as to whether I have embarked upon the right path.
Actually, I know that I have. I just need the peace of God that surpasses all understanding to get me around, over or under this little roadblock of doubt. 
Goodnight yall!